Monday, 16 February 2015

That feeling of inadequacy

We managed some schooling last weekend, after a fab ride out on Saturday (see video below!) I felt pretty good about it. Making it into the school, me not worrying. Rio being a bit of a prat and me still not worrying, trying to get a feel with him again... All until I put together my video. He fought and fought with me, and despite him coming in a bit, despite me desperately trying to get him moving forward into a contact; all that happened was me holding him together, and it didn't flow at all. 

I've booked us in on a dressage clinic next month, and I'm just dying to get in there to try and work this out. It's come to that point where I feel like we need to step it up or I just feel like I'm not enough for him. This weekend's frustration was my lack of ability to just sit to the trot. I'm not kidding now, this is really starting to eat at me. By now, I should be past the point of getting excited about sitting to three strides before I lose it again. Right? 

Wrong. I need to remember not to run before I can walk. In the grand scheme of things, it wasn't so long ago that I was terrified of that school and of Rio being stupid in there. 
It wasn't so long ago that on a hack I would have been a sprung ball of tension at the slightest trip or spook. 
It wasn't so long ago, that if another horse had come sprinting past causing Rio to rush off in pursuit, that I probably might have lost my seat (maybe a stirrup or two) and bailed out in a big sprawling mess. 
Not any more.

These are the things I need to remember, and when the inevitable downs of horse ownership and riding come into play, these are the things I need to draw on. How many times have you been through these patches? How did you get yourself through them? I don't want to feel like I'm letting his potential be lost because I'm not a capable enough rider. I want to learn, and I want to be able to teach Rio, and for him to learn with me. It's time to start saving to try and get a trainer in every few weeks. 6 weeks and counting until the clocks go forward. I cannot wait.

On a more cheerful note - here's our hacking video! 

If anyone has any tips they would care to share, I would be more than grateful.